by Phil T. Arnold
A few weeks ago, I was walking in one of the local Wal-Marts getting something. I forget what. I came up behind what I assumed to be a mother with her young daughter of perhaps 14 or 15. The mother was dressed rather conservatively – nothing to draw undue attention. But the daughter! She was wearing shorts – as short as possible and still be shorts – and a tee shirt that forgot to come down to meet the shorts. To top it off a vulgar, suggestive, one word message appeared in large letters across the young lady’s back-side. Surely, a young LADY of 14 or 15 is old enough to know better than to leave her room dressed in such a fashion but my first thought was, “Mom! What are you thinking?” What are you thinking letting your teenage daughter appear in public in such a lascivious fashion? What are you thinking when you decide that to dress like a harlot is acceptable for your daughter? Don’t misunderstand. I’m not suggesting that the young lady was a harlot nor that her mother intended for her to appear as one, but that was the resulting message of their fashion choices.
What was she thinking? Most people act as though they are not thinking – at least not about decency and modesty. A commercial that ran a while back sadly depicts the world in which we live. It portrayed a young girl, dressed in jeans and a short top revealing the midriff about to leave the house. Her father stopped her and said, “You’re not leaving the house dressed like that!” The young lady was devastated when her mother appeared to agree. But then her mother pulled her jeans down to reveal even more and all was well.
The fashion industry has never been about modesty – only sales. And today sales seem to be directed at having young ladies (and not so young foolish women) mimic the example of pop singers and worldly actresses wearing extremely seductive clothing. And although I continue to be shocked, such is, I must sadly admit, to be expected of the world which has never been concerned with decency. But even some Christians are wearing the worldly fashions without a blush and young ladies are wearing them apparently without parental restraint. We act like God doesn’t care what we wear. Since when is an exposed belly button godly? Have we forgotten that Jesus is Lord both of our bodies and how we clothe them? (1 Cor.6:19-20). Have we forgotten Paul’s inspired instruction concerning our choice of clothing? “that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation….which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10) Does the way we dress (whether male or female) reflect our claim that we are Christians or does it contradict?
This article may be a few weeks too late for all the back-to-school shoppers, but hopefully not too late for our young people to learn modesty. I would ask all parents to stop and look again at what your children are wearing – not only to school but everywhere. Mom, are you just allowing your daughter to pick out her own clothes without any input or are you buying clothing for your daughter that will prompt the world to look upon her in some way other than pure and chaste? I know there is a desire for your daughter to be accepted and popular, but at what price? I truly believe that there is still enough variety in today’s fashions that one can be fashionable and still be modest. But even if there is not, what choice should we make?
And fathers, I realize full well as a father of two little girls who have grown into young women that that transformation takes place so suddenly that we are often the last to realize it. While it may be difficult for you, I urge you to look again and be actively involved in what your daughter chooses to wear when it comes to decency. Look at what she wears when she stands and sits, moves and walks! Does it rise above the knee and reveal her thighs when she sits down? Does it gap open when she moves? Is it too tight when she walks? Would it move others (try to see it from their perspective) to think of your daughter as anything other than the godly young lady you strive to raise her to be?
Doesn’t issues of modesty apply to the young men as well? Well, of course it does! Happily the fashion industry for the most part has made young men’s shorts so long that it’s really hard to call them shorts and pants so baggy that it disguises almost anything. But when young men choose to wear their trousers so low that it reveals their backside or wear jeans so tight that one doesn’t have to guess if they’re boxers or briefs, the same principles apply to them.
There used to be an expression that “the clothes make the man.” I don’t agree. I do believe that our clothes say something about us. Does what we choose to wear and allow members of our family to wear say that we are “professing godliness with good works”? Such a choice may not mean that we will always be dressed like everyone else, but then they may not be professing the same thing we are! In fact, Paul would suggest that we should stand out “as lights in the world”.…”in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation” (Phil. 2:15).
